Category Archives: Free


 Exactly one year ago yesterday I received my lovely/schizophrenic hamster Ophelia.

It seems like just yesterday that I entered the pet store while hamster hunting and can across a singular incredibly pissed-off rodent. Ophelia was so ill tempered the owner of the store gave her to me because he was afraid to sell her to a child.


Since I first got her she seemed, oddly enough, to become more and more infatuated with me everyday (she likes to express love through making me bleed), but I mean who wouldn’t like me? Life with Caveman is all fun, peppered with Twizzlers and snack cakes.


Sometimes I lie awake at night listening to the infernal squeak (squeak, squeak, squeak) of the hamster wheel, and I figure the end of “us” will come once she grows bored of me. When that day comes there is no more turning my back on her cage because she seems like the type that would ambush you.

To me, she has become a kind of bitey pain in my ass that I’m surprised I haven’t accidentally killed yet, but I love the hell out of her.


Cave Painting

A good while back I discovered through some random blog posting that artist Ali Spagnola would paint whatever you wanted and send it to you for free.

(from the website) “I want you to have my art. It is priceless. As in, I haven’t put a price on it. I can’t make sense of putting a price on my work. But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t get rid of it. I can’t keep all of these paintings so you should own one. I’m giving them away to anyone that asks. So take one. Its Fine Art, I swear.”

Me being the one who couldn’t pass up a free offer if I wanted to, I emailed and requested a caveman (I’m sorry…it is like my thing). Time passed on, and I completely forgot about my request…that is until I got an email from Ali. The email was very simple, stating apologies for being so late and that my painting was finished. I sent along my address and feverishly laid in wait.

My painting arrived today, and I got to say that there no cooler feeling than having someone paint something for you. I just got figure out where I’m going to put it.

Looks just like me.

If you want a free painting just stop by Ali’s website, look over some of the stuff she has done, and pop her an email. She has got a great style. Unfortunately, there might be a slight wait due to the call of free art being so powerful, but trust me it is fully worth the wait.

While on Ali’s site feel free to roam around a bit and you might just discover that Ali isn’t just a talented artist, but she is a fantastic musician as well…


May 3rd is “Free Comic Book Day” at most local comic book stories. Since there is nothing better than something free or a good comic book I don’t expect to repeat myself.

We at Caveman HQ will be celebrating this nerd holiday to it’s fullest.

For love of a hamster named Ophelia

(Note: I originally intended to write and post it about seven months ago, but apparently I found another more interesting thing write about. During my current quagmire of creativity I find it necessary to dip into the stockpile strange/bad ideas)

For some indeterminate reason, ever since I was younger I’ve always wanted a hamster. Unfortunately, since my family had a constant stream of pets coming in and out of the house, due mainly to my grandfather sending all my mom’s pets to “the farm” when she was a kid (another post for another time), I couldn’t get one. When I finally reached the 8th grade I imagine I’ve worn my parents down enough and they just decided to give in.

Although, I finally had a the coveted hamster I was pretty upset because A) I didn’t get to name it, and B) it was put in the living room thus becoming “the family’s hamster”. Anyways, me and not-my hamster got along relatively well. Not-my hamster was well mannered, slept on a regular schedule, and you could hand feed her. She “kicked the really small bucket” two and a half years later, and she was buried in the back yard…well…until the dog dug her up.

After not-my hamster died I wasn’t too anxious to get back to the ol’ hamster game, but I did have some interest buried in the back of my mind. Then I got Ophelia.

Because didn’t want to drop a whole lot of cash my graduation present my options were either new work pants or my very own hamster. Both options were incredibly lackluster for me at the time, but ‘hey’ I already had a drawer full of pants so I opted for the hamster.

I walked into the pet store as a man on a mission and the owner noticed as much. He lead me down an aisle, stopped, pointed to a solitary cage, and said: “If you want a hamster you can have this one free.  I wouldn’t feel right selling her to a family with little kids. Um, she…bites” Even though I wasn’t paying for it in the first place me being the person I am thought ‘free is free’.

I named my new pet Ophelia a character from the Shakespeare play “Hamlet”. For people who don’t know the play Ophelia is not so obviously mentally deranged, but her condition worsens through out leading to her eventual death. Ophelia the hamster is just fucking crazy.

Ophelia the Shakespeare character

I’ve been bitten probably eight times in the last month. She’s a very light sleeper and if she doesn’t get enough sleep (10-12 hours) she gets even more pissed off. Plus, whenever I walk into the room she stares me down like I owe her money.

Man, I love that hamster…


Ophelia the hamster


Everyone knows that I love free stuff, and nothing is better than winning free stuff. Will of Be The Boy is offering a personalized music mix to people who tell people about his blog.

Be The Boy is funny, and really well written…Oh yea, not a jerk” 

I urge the 2 people who read this daily, and the random people who find this blog by acident to go check it out so I can get somthing for free.


Finally, after a week long hiatus I have a chance to write something long, and some-what meaningful. Due to me adjusting to my new work schedule I haven’t had the time nor energy to even consider posting, but seeing that I’m getting better at this “time management” thing I can now take sometime out of my day to “write”. (Also I’ve learned to indicate sarcasim with quotation marks)

Return to the Blog-o-sphere

Today also marks the first time in a week I was able to read my favorite blogs. Although it took me nearly two and a half hours to read all the  missed posts, it was well worth it.

Also, may I add:

Good News 

I finally bought a digital camera! Unfortunatly the wireless is frigged up on my laptop, so pictures will come soon…


On June 8th, I Mr. Caveman became a fully responsible member of society by graduating at 7pm…or was it 8:30? I don’t know because the whole thing was about THREE HOURS LONG. 

It was incredably nerve racking lining up to “march” in. All of us in our best, taking pictures, talking in yearbook clichés (“Can you beleive we made it through”,”Have a great summer!”),and just waiting… Then the music starts, and the teachers (in their robes) exit through the big old doors first.

Halfway down the center aisle the teachers stop, and face towards the middle (I know, the symbolism is painful). I being the the second male student down, figured I cut the tension by giving all the teachers on my side a high five. 

After everything was said and done, the place was hell to get out of.

Project Graduation

For several years my school, and many school around has been doing something called “Project Graduation”. The main aim is to keep people from drinking and driving (most of us go for the free food).

45 minutes after graduation everyone was suposed to meet in the parting lot, get searched for booze, and pile into a bus going to a YMCA in the middle of nowhere.

I gotta say the YMCA out in the middle of nowhere had a pretty nice set up. It had 3 lanes of candle pin bowling, laser tag, a pool, and a giant inflatable “American Gladiator” style joust. We all stayed there until about 4:30.

To be continued

I Love Free Stuff

I truly love free stuff. Just about every large item I own (desk, chairs, speakers, and bookshelf) was free.

Even stuff that I don’t need I can find a use for. My grandmother gave me a large bread box, and I use it now to store magazines.


Today, while driving home I passed by the local public theatre, and I notice large piles of stuff in their parking lot. I saw it and thought it was a  garage sale, but then that’s when I saw the sign:


I turned the car around so fast I almost caused a pile up on the side street. I pulled up to the parking lot and starting calling dibs on anything I could put my hands on. After awhile I had amassed a small antique shop worth of junk, but unfortunately because my car is already full of crap I could only take one item. It took me for what seemed like an eternity to decide, but I picked an old, medium sized, dark green, card catalog; and I love it.

Why do I need a card catalog? Its FREE!

I don’t have any pictures because I’m still to cheap to buy a new digital camera.