Category Archives: Bloggyness

All’s Fair…At The Fair

It’s a little known fact that two of a Mainer’s favorite things in life are either observing or participating pissing contests and consuming vast amounts of fried/deep fried foods. The best place for one to partake in the most heated farmer rivalries while chow down on a funnel cake is the fair.. Maine loves fairs, and while in the state you can easily attend it’s roughly 7 or 8 major ones (and 3 major festivals).

Saturday I took the time out of my busy schedule (sarcasm) to take the hour and a half journey to the town of Skowhegan to attend “the nation’s oldest continuously run agricultural fair”…The Skowhegan State Fair.

Although my memories of that same fair years back are nothing but glimering seas of farm animals and corn dogs, I found this time around to be slightly disappointing. Large sections that used to be devoted to exhibits were needlessly handed over to the carnival rides and shitty merchandise vendors. Although the show animals were still in abundance, a lot of the barns were closed due to it being the first day of the livestock grooming and inspections (don’t worry I ‘ninja-ed’ my way through to some places and got some good pictures).

Hanging with my brothers-in-arms

The only thing that might have redeemed the afternoon was the discovery of wonder that is the bacon wrapped hot dog. I ate one and the angels wept….

  • The rest of the photos are here.
  • A set from the Fryburg Fair last year is here.

A Relative After My Own Heart

My heritage is drastically split into distinct sections…Cavedad’s “idyllic worker” German side and Cavemom’s swishy/virtually unremarkable French-Canadian side.

  • Since I’ve never met the entirety of my Father’s side of the family I can only go on his example that the German Cavemen are very tough, nose to the grindstone people which obviously does not reflect my free spirit.
  • The Franco-Canadian Cavemen, to whom I’ve spent my entire life with, are completely (for lack of a better word) normal, which is out of standard with the idiosyncrasies of the Vintage Caveman.

I’m just a round peg with nothing but square hole when it comes to my family….Or so I thought until about a year ago when Cavemom told me the story of my Grandmother’s Uncle.

>My Great-Uncle (lets call him Barney) was the truly the black sheep of the Franc-Canucks Cavemen. He rejected the path the rest of his his family (which at the time was working in textile mills) and forged his own. Unfortunately, “Barney” got himself wrap into some illegal actives (Cavemom won’t tell me) and was sent to the brand-new, “unescapable” county jail the next city over.

“Barney” had no major issues with the whole “being sent jail” thing…it was the “unescapable” part that pissed him off. See, “Barney” had a very rebellious streak (which probably got him into jail in the first place), and no one could tell him he couldn’t do something..

Roughly a month after entry he escapes, and makes it into the Maine history books. Shortly after his unauthorized exit, he was discovered sitting on a park bench waiting to be picked up. A month later he escapes again, just to further “drive in his point”.<

It’s that rebellious, “fuck you” attitude that makes me feel like I wasn’t kidnapped by Gypsies and sold to my current family.

You’ve Been Blogrolled…

For the first time in…awhile I’ve decided to update the old blogroll to include some of the blogs I picked up reading in the last couple of months. See? I’m lazy.

The catalyst of my break from general my “not-doing-stuff-ness” is the recent influx of new Internet friends and an open conversation between the blogs about the usefulness of the side bar.

New additions include:

All of which are fully Caveman approved, and should be visited as soon as you are done here.

(My apologies if anyone was forgotten)

The Balki To Your Larry

Saturday was the 6th ever live airing of the ever infamous BetheMarriage on Ice. It’s one hell of a good show if you ever get a chance to see it, and I suggest you do… You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll feel slightly molested.

Anyways, this 6th ‘episode’ marks the first use of the Skype call-in line. Normally a call-in line would be nothing really special, but those who stayed to around the hour and a half mark were treated to a surprise call from the one-and-only Vintage Caveman.

I say ‘surprise call’ mainly because no one knew I was going to call, not even me. The thing is..I’m a mid-level social person. I’ll meet some friends for coffee, I’ll join in a little light conversation at a party, but ask me to stand up in front of people and talk about anything and you will see true fear. It’s like cornering a wild animal.

I figured that if I am to become a normal human being I should force myself into more in-depth social situations. When that number flashed on the screen for the last time that night I took my chances, said “fuck it”, and dialed it on my cell phone.. As they say “the rest is history”.

I feel I was a little nervous (I was actually shaking a bit. I’m such a nerd.) and a couple of things I said for “the funny” came off as “not the funny”, but that is expected without anytime to filter myself. I’m a blogger not a phone person, what can I say?

Much thanks to Slack and The Boy

Caveman: The Dark Knight?

As far back as I can remember my love of super heroes and the like have had a decently large place in my life (not overly obsessive, but it’s big), but Batman has been different. Batman quickly surfaced as a favorite at a very young age because I could kind of identify with him.

Growing up I knew there was no way I was the last son of a recently destroyed planet, going to develop super speed, be chosen by alien guardians to police the galaxy with a super ring, and I’m pretty sure I was never raised on a mysterious island by Amazons. The only thing that made Batman special was his mind and that resonated with me in a very weird way. I watched every episode of “Batman: The Animated Series”, had a small army of Batman action figures, and basically worshiped the ground that fictional character walked on.

Kid Caveman as The Batman.
I know..."What happened?"
You are a very funny person..

As I grew up I started to move farther and farther apart from my super hero idol, but the funny thing about “The Caped Crusader” is that no matter how far you run you won’t be able to evade him.

Around 8th grade I was introduced to to ancient Greece, more specifically the Greek tragedies, and the more I read the more I thought: Batman. Themes like the scorned hero, the eternal fight for justice, revenge, and even the unconquerable evil we sometimes must face seemed like they were all pulled out of the Batman handbook. The symmetry and artistry in motion was just plain beautiful.

Things that make me a huge Batman fan: (+20 nerd cred)

  • My first Internet pseudonym was Matches Malone
  • I own an almost complete collection of the greatest Batman graphic novels (I’m just missing Alan Moore’s “The Killing Joke“)
  • I’ve already decide that my first son’s name will either be Bruce or Oliver (Oliver is the name of the Green Arrow)
  • My home is called “the Cave Cave” (or “the Matt Cave” if you want to use real names…)
  • One of my first nerd crushes was Yvonne Craig
  • I paid for me, Cavedad, and sister to go see “Batman Forever“. I was 6…
  • These are some of my most prized possessions:
  • A copy of the original government issued patent (as seen on Be the Marriage) and picture of the original television Batmobile. Both signed by George Barris, it’s creator.

A Little Justified Bragging

  • Friday, I finally scraped together enough money to pay off the college for my second semester.
  • Saturday, the college finally releases my second semester grades…

Ladies and Gentlemen I know I posted this earlier on BetheMarriage Live on Ice and shortly after on Twitter but…I got an A in my College Writing class. I know you wunderkinds out there in Internet Land think I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but this is huge for me.

While I was in high school I absolutely hated to write…anything. I’d go out of my way to half ass my way through an assigned essay or not to do the essay at all. I just couldn’t focus on writing something I wasn’t committed with.

I think I can attribute my change of heart, oddly enough, to this whole blog thing. For the first time I realized that I could write about literally anything I wanted (which obviously helped). The more I wrote about whatever I wanted, the more a long buried voice emerged and the more I enjoyed what I did. Plus, the whole network of people commenting on what I write really spurs me on to the next blog post.

I currently have no aspirations to become a writer in the near future, but with the industry I hope to get in to one day it helps to be able to write and not have people vomit with rage over it…

I(‘m not) ain’t dead yet*

Those in the know have some idea of my Internet problems, and it’s…problematic.

Fortunately, sometime within the next couple days I am switching back to a cable DSL. Unfortunately, I can’t post anything of any substance until my internets get better…

Just letting you know that I’m still alive, and plan on being so for a good long while.


Your votes helped me in to the finals of Antisocial Networking’s Nerd Crush contest and I need your help once again. The final round of voting ends Thursday at 12 PST.


*The title is actually a double reference: “I ain’t dead yet, Motherfucker!” is the title of a documentary about Richard Pryor, and “I’m not dead yet” is a famous quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.