The Vintage Caveman Officially Endorses…

..privateering, and general piracy.

With the economy being the worst it’s been in decades, some people are being forced to consider careers that might be out of norm to survive. I decided that my current part-time job doesn’t pay enough to fund my daily shenanigans and to payoff a chunk of my college tuition (I pay for college almost totally by myself) so I’m going to take up a second job. I’m going to be a pirate.

1. I’ve got to acquire a boat. How I’m going to acquire a boat is still a mystery to me, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be hard. Notice: If anyone has an extra boat lying around I’ll be glad to take it off your hands.

2. I’ve got find a crew. Once again, I don’t know where I could find a crew, but if I could borrow some that your not using right now that would be great. Thank you.

Once steps 1, and 2 are completed I will be found sailing up and down the coast drinking rum, singing sea shanties, burning things, and taking things that don’t belong to me so I can sell them at a good price.

Don’t worry about me, though. I’ve planned everything out. For example, I’ll pirate on the weekends, attend classes during the weekday, and I even thought up an excuse for that guy at parties who always asks you what you do for a living:

“I’m in charge of mid-level asset seizures for a small maritime firm. Mainly spices, sugar, and sometimes  gold bullion.”

Oh, and vote tomorrow. You scurvy dogs! (Sorry, I’m trying it out for size)

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3 responses to “The Vintage Caveman Officially Endorses…

  1. I don’t have a boat anymore, but I’m willing to volunteer for the crew and bring some rum.

  2. pirates rule. you’ll be a great pirate.

  3. JT- If you keep the rum flowing, you’re welcome on my crew anytime…

    DP- Thank you..

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