..privateering, and general piracy.
With the economy being the worst it’s been in decades, some people are being forced to consider careers that might be out of norm to survive. I decided that my current part-time job doesn’t pay enough to fund my daily shenanigans and to payoff a chunk of my college tuition (I pay for college almost totally by myself) so I’m going to take up a second job. I’m going to be a pirate.
1. I’ve got to acquire a boat. How I’m going to acquire a boat is still a mystery to me, but I’m pretty sure it won’t be hard. Notice: If anyone has an extra boat lying around I’ll be glad to take it off your hands.
2. I’ve got find a crew. Once again, I don’t know where I could find a crew, but if I could borrow some that your not using right now that would be great. Thank you.
Once steps 1, and 2 are completed I will be found sailing up and down the coast drinking rum, singing sea shanties, burning things, and taking things that don’t belong to me so I can sell them at a good price.
Don’t worry about me, though. I’ve planned everything out. For example, I’ll pirate on the weekends, attend classes during the weekday, and I even thought up an excuse for that guy at parties who always asks you what you do for a living:
“I’m in charge of mid-level asset seizures for a small maritime firm. Mainly spices, sugar, and sometimes gold bullion.”
Oh, and vote tomorrow. You scurvy dogs! (Sorry, I’m trying it out for size)