A couple of weeks ago I was watching the History Channel and interesting commercial popped up:

This caught me off guard because the “Cavemen” television show never had timing, or dull wit to make me laugh like I did when I first saw this commercial. Of course I’ve only seen the show once (I thought the irony was too painful), but from what I seen it was destine to be a failure.

Dry acting, bad writing, and an overall strange/undeserved air of superiority drove away what limited audience a TV show about cavemen would have. If they focused on better writing than just hoping that the plot would just imply funny, and shifted their direction towards a more sitcom style they could’ve done a lot better.

Heck, I could do better… Which is why I wrote the following e-mail.

Dear ABC,

Upon witnessing the Gieco/History Channel joint commercial I realized that you severely mishandled the television series known as “Cavemen”. The plot behind the show was incredibly shaky to begin with, and then you started to crap all over it.

Right now I’m offering you a one time deal: Give me complete creative control and 6 episode re-commitment, and I will at least double whatever investment you lay on the table.

If you are worried about my age or general experience, remember this, no one else offered… You don’t even have pay me conventually: All I require is an assistant for me, an assistant for my writing partner Ophelia, a Station wagon filled half way with gummy worms , 13 boxes of Ritz crackers, a Macbook, and all meals/general expenses/Internet purchases paid for.

I am waiting for your reply.

(and remember: No one else offered)

Your friend,

Vintage Caveman


4 responses to “Redundancy

  1. They’d be stupid not to jump on that.

  2. vintagecaveman

    That’s what I’m saying…

  3. What would your interview process for Ophelia be like?

  4. vintagecaveman

    Me and Ophelia have very similar needs, so anyone applying would be asked questions like: “How many words per minute can you type?”, “Can you take a punch”, “Can you make coffee?”, and “Are you fine with rubbing bellies?”… You know, executive stuff…

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