Free Write 2; Balance the universe, buy a hippy.

2/26 A College Writing class free write:

I’ve always maintained that next to zombies, mountain folk, and British people hippies are some of my favorite types of people. I am in no why condoning the hippy life-style and culture, but if they’re going to be around anyways, why not enjoy them?

Which, of course, gets me to my point: everyone should own a hippy. I suggest we round up all the hippy populations in the world and place them on farms. These farms are specifically set up for the care and eventually readiness for a hippy to be purchased. While on farms hippies will get bathed regularly, taught strict hippy philosophy, and be fed a strict diet of vegetables and pot to ensure a healthy, happy and fresh smelling hippy.

When it is time for a consumer to purchase his or her own hippy they will take a trip out to the local hippy farm to pick out their ideal hippy. Owning your own hippy is relatively simple, all you have to do is give them food and water and make sure they don’t get hit by a car (hippies are strangely drawn to traffic).

‘What is the advantage to owning your own hippy?’ you may ask… The answer is very easy: owning a hippy is like having the universe’s “Get out jail free” card. Next time you’re in a car accident don’t worry about losing your temper, due to your ownership of a perpetually positive hippy the universe is in perfect balance. In fact if you decide to slide that baseball bat you keep in the trunk out a ruff up the other guy’s car a bit it’s fine because the hippy just being there cancels out whatever negativity you can muster.

Plus, besides 70’s police officers who doesn’t like a good hippy?

The hippy’s bastard children, “Hipsters”, on the other hand should be thrown off of cliffs (Which I could do because I would own a hippy).

My inspiration for today’s free write:


(Hippies on my can of Mountain Dew)


4 responses to “Free Write 2; Balance the universe, buy a hippy.

  1. While on farms hippies will get bathed regularly

    Wait…bathing is contrary to the nature of a hippy.

  2. @JT Indeed, the bathing is a matter of customer satisfaction.

  3. I can see where that would be necessary. Also, you have been added on my sidebar as a member of my Axis of Allies.

  4. Thanks, man. You’ve always got a spot on mine.

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