(Note: I originally intended to write and post it about seven months ago, but apparently I found another more interesting thing write about. During my current quagmire of creativity I find it necessary to dip into the stockpile strange/bad ideas)
For some indeterminate reason, ever since I was younger I’ve always wanted a hamster. Unfortunately, since my family had a constant stream of pets coming in and out of the house, due mainly to my grandfather sending all my mom’s pets to “the farm” when she was a kid (another post for another time), I couldn’t get one. When I finally reached the 8th grade I imagine I’ve worn my parents down enough and they just decided to give in.
Although, I finally had a the coveted hamster I was pretty upset because A) I didn’t get to name it, and B) it was put in the living room thus becoming “the family’s hamster”. Anyways, me and not-my hamster got along relatively well. Not-my hamster was well mannered, slept on a regular schedule, and you could hand feed her. She “kicked the really small bucket” two and a half years later, and she was buried in the back yard…well…until the dog dug her up.
After not-my hamster died I wasn’t too anxious to get back to the ol’ hamster game, but I did have some interest buried in the back of my mind. Then I got Ophelia.
Because didn’t want to drop a whole lot of cash my graduation present my options were either new work pants or my very own hamster. Both options were incredibly lackluster for me at the time, but ‘hey’ I already had a drawer full of pants so I opted for the hamster.
I walked into the pet store as a man on a mission and the owner noticed as much. He lead me down an aisle, stopped, pointed to a solitary cage, and said: “If you want a hamster you can have this one free. I wouldn’t feel right selling her to a family with little kids. Um, she…bites” Even though I wasn’t paying for it in the first place me being the person I am thought ‘free is free’.
I named my new pet Ophelia a character from the Shakespeare play “Hamlet”. For people who don’t know the play Ophelia is not so obviously mentally deranged, but her condition worsens through out leading to her eventual death. Ophelia the hamster is just fucking crazy.
Ophelia the Shakespeare character
I’ve been bitten probably eight times in the last month. She’s a very light sleeper and if she doesn’t get enough sleep (10-12 hours) she gets even more pissed off. Plus, whenever I walk into the room she stares me down like I owe her money.
Man, I love that hamster…