An open letter to my lawn

Dear Lawn,

Why do you have to be such a dick. I mean I mourn when you die in the winter, and I imagine I take some-what good care of you. For god sakes I don’t use you for a toilet like the dog does!! So with my sparkling history with you, why do you continue to grow and force me to cut you. You have worn out your welcome, please leave…

Mr. Caveman

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