3 Company

Me and the roommate (we’ll call him: ‘Chill’) couldn’t be more polar opposites. He’s a little bit hip hop and I’m a little bit rock n’ roll. It’s almost like ships passing in the night only if both of those ships hated living with each other. Surprisingly we find some way to live in some sort of irritating pseudo-peace.

Unfortunately, that peace is routinely shattered every time Chill entertains a new lady friend. Whenever some cute co-ed (and sometimes her friends) stops by to ‘hang’ there is a lot of shouting and drunkenness late in to the night and I’m just sitting in the corner waiting to go to bed.

Things finally took a turn for the worst between me and Chill late Thursday night when I came back from a late night pizza hang-out with some classmates. I walk into my room and instantly discover him quietly chatting it up with a girl from his anatomy class. I wasn’t planing to go to bed for an hour and they were being quiet so I thought: “what’s the harm”…and then there was a knock on the door.

That knock on the door led to a torrent of no less than 10 people flooding into my room and effectively ruining my night. Because I’m a socially inept nerd I don’t do anything about the loud, drunken party developing in my room without my consent except for the occasional “get off my bed!”. Although after everyone left I did write and angry note (18 point, Helvetica) and posted on the door (because I am a socially inept nerd).

This is that note:

“

Chill,

I’m a very reasonable person but tonight was too much. I get in and I’m ready for bed but I can’t because some wild party has sprung up in our room. It’s fine if you want to have people over during the day but anytime after 10pm is insane. I can understand some circumstances but my privacy is important to me and in the evening time I like to relax and unwind from the long day (which I can’t do if you and your lady friends are screaming all the time). If I can’t relax from time to time, my court-appointed psychiatrist say that I’m a prime candidate for a second agitation-induced nervous breakdown.

You’re a smart, sensible person and I hope you can see my point of view, and give this one to me.

Your roomie,

Caveman

“

Some may think I went too far. I think I didn’t GO FAR ENOUGH.

(I hope he knows I was kidding about that last part. He is not smart or sensible…)

Election Season

I make it a point not to donate to political campaigns. If my money is going to be used by someone for evil purposes I’d rather it be me.

EDIT: I just discovered that, friend of caveman, BetheBoy’s father passed away late last night. Our hearts go out to him and his family.

The world lost another great man today.

Questions sitting in the back of my mind.

- How many days can I go to bed really late and wake up really early before I die?

- What was in that pumpkin pie I had for dinner?

- Should I write my English paper on “Dog Day Afternoon” or “Friday the 13th”?

- What’s Dana Carvey doing nowadays?

- Why is it raining?

Newspaper Writer

I join the college newspaper two weeks ago in attempt to meet some interesting people and stretch some atrophied creative muscle. Saturday, I got an e-mail from the Editor asking me if I could write a “light hearted piece about roommate etiquette”. I graciously accepted the task even though my writing skews more annoyed and sarcastic than “light hearted”.

I labored for roughly 6 hours and half of a particularly boring Advertising class and finished way ahead of deadline. A little help from Friends of Caveman: Green Yogurt and Nutcase 101 made sure that my article didn’t sound like a crazy hobo wrote it.

I sent it through to my Editor on Wednesday, and so far I still haven’t heard anything back.

If I hear good things, my article might just find it’s way here..

EDIT: Last night I finally got a response back… and apparently I did a “good job!”.

Important Classwork

I made this for my Computer Applications Class:

His name is Melon Man, and he frightens me.